Humor in the COVID Pandemic

It's hard to believe that we have endured a full year of Covid-19 induced restrictions. (No walk-in beauty shop or nail appointments, mask requirements, product shortages and hoarding of disinfectant wipes and toilet paper, social distancing, etc.) With the vaccinations being more
readily available, life may eventually return to some semblance of normal.

Although 2020 was a tragic and devastating year for many, it did have its humorous moments. I went through my Facebook pages because I had saved a lot of them. I don't know who to credit with these lines, but hopefully the creators will be happy if their words bring a smile to your face.

1. You thought dogs were hard to train? Look at all the humans that can't sit and stay.
2. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately, that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
3. Does anybody know how long toilet paper lasts in the freezer?
4. I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.
5. I see a gap in your resume. What were you doing in 2020? Ans. Looking for toilet paper.
6. Is it just me or has March 2020 lasted for 3 years?
7. My mother always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying around the house all day...but look at me now, I'm saving the world.
8. I miss the good old days when we were terrified of Romaine lettuce.
9. Suddenly the whole nation is depending on the very people they don't believe should make $15 an hour.
10. People are asking who is still doing nails and hair? Ans. Your local mortician. Stay home!
11. Is anyone else getting three weeks to a gallon now?
12. When this is over, what meeting should I attend? Weight Watchers or AA?
13. If I'd known in March that most restaurants would be closed, I'd have ordered dessert.
14. Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told 'no' if we get too close to strangers. And we really get excited about car rides.
15. Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier. If this keeps up, I will be pouring wine on my cereal.
16. It's like being sixteen again. Gas is cheap and I'm grounded.
17. The buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other.
18. Wearing a mask inside your home is recommended. Not so much to prevent Covid-19 but to stop eating.
19. Not even sure what day it is anymore... feels like it must be at least April 94th.
20. Cleaning the house with everyone home is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
21. Have a great weekend, inmates.
22. Is it too soon to put up the Xmas tree? I've run out of things to do.

Until my next inspiration...ciao

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash